I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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