I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
