My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will be naked everywhere
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
