I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
