told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
