Where is the hickey?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
