I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
