I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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