I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
