I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
