I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
