My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
