YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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