As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
