She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize