Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
