8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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