Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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