I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
