I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
