The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
