She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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