The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
