I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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