marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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