There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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