how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
