I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
