For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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