She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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