The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
