I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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