do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my sisters under your porch take her home
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
