she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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