If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
