Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
