ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
