we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
