What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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