Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
