I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
