weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
