she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
