Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
