Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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