Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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