you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
