i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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