what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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