Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
