I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
