Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
