i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
