My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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