I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
