My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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