i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
