her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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