Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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