question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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