i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
