she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
