youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
