So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
