I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
