Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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