Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You made out with two different species that night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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