I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
