Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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