she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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